Monday, April 12, 2010

Blowing Kisses

I saw my life flash before my eyes today. Not in the near death way but in a quite literal way. I was importing photos into Brooks' computer. All the digital photos we have of our life together. It was like a supersonic slide show of my life. Flashes of weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, lazy days, the best vacations, houses built, babies born, dogs come home, paintings painted, pumpkins carved, stories told, dinners prepared, slumber parties, shopping trips, beautiful faces and Christmas mornings. Music and memories made.

I used to love it when my Grandmother would go around the house singing this song in her cute voice, dancing a ditty. I still love it:
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

For the most part I am the most content and at peace with myself and life. And at the same time, so aware of my frailties and broken places. For once the puzzle pieces are fitting together, falling into place and there is a deep sense of rightness, wholeness and joy. I won't pretend it was easy getting here and I won't pretend it was my doing. I am, however, glad it's landing here, finding a home in my heart.

Sometimes the homesickness still washes over me. It hits me like the swell of a wave at sea with a crash. Today as I sat in front of a computer screen I was shown what a rich and wonderful life I've had, one photo at a time. Like someone was blowing me kisses.

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