Prayer Salad

I haven't written lately. I feel a little nervous, I might have forgotten how. So much has happened since I last wrote a word. August has gone, September has come and will narrowly end. Much has changed.

I'm due to have a baby in April. We found out on a fine autumn day. Brooks and I had spent the day in Hunter Valley driving about the countryside taking in the scenery, watching the sunlight shift across terraces and vineyards in the valley. I had been eating starbursts most of the day and was wanting to eat popcorn for dinner but I had a notion that there could be another within and I didn't think our baby should come out all amped up on starbursts and junk food. And if I wasn't expecting I decided I seriously needed to work on my abs, after I ate popcorn. So we stopped by the store to pick up a test.

I was in such a need to know that I went directly to the Woolies bathroom. There they were, two lines. Two pink lines. Not just one line. I'd never seen two lines before. My eyes got real big and I began to laugh and smile. I tried to keep a straight face walking out of the bathroom but my smile could not be concealed. Brooks said "are you serious?" and we hugged and cried and smiled in that stark white hallway.

It's all quite a miracle and since then I've had all the symptoms.

We got to see our little baby for the first time the other day and were both moved to tears. So cute, wiggling and waving it's hands with the heart all a flutter.

We can't do this on our own. I've prayed for every good and perfect gift for this baby. For it's hands, feet, fingers, toes, brain, heart, organs, for no disease or illness to come and harm it, every little thing I can think of. I've prayed for wisdom and help to be the best parents we can be because we can't do it on our own...

I named this blog Prayer Salad and that's just what it's been in my mind. Since I happened upon this I think to it often and pray...

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Memory

I kind of gave up memorizing things a while back. I seem to have left that part of life back in the school days. Memorization is for kids who want stickers and lollies and patches for sewing on a vest, for tests and grades.

As a kid I would spend weeks out of the summer in VBS. That's vacation bible school. I would go to my Grandma Vi's church bible school and my Grandma Dorothy's church bible school, flopping back and forth from house to house, always a little concerned about Grandma's ability to fix my hair. As much as I adore my grandmothers, my house of choice for VBS weeks was my friend Kendra's. Her mom Teri was my babysitter from 6 months old til we moved far far away. Kendra and I were, well, she was my best friend. And I don't use that term lightly.

Teri was VBS super mom. She still is. She has always and forever given her time and talents to the teaching of children, caring deeply for them with the love of God as if they were her own. There was always scripture memory at VBS and as we got older the bigger the passages they challenged us with. The last VBS I can remember we were given some big long obscure passage in the Old Testament. Kendra and I decided to take it on. We stayed up late into the night that week huddled under her white cotton twill blanket with our flashlight reciting and memorizing that chapter of Habakkuk. We were careful to hear each other closely and make sure the other one was getting it. And eventually one or the other would drift off to sleep mid verse.

By the end of the week we had both mastered it. One by one those who had it memorized were to stand in front of the whole VBS and cite the passage. We were both nervous for each other. We did it all for some amount of points and a chocolate bar as I recall. Funny though, it wasn't the points or the chocolate that mattered most.

A dear friend of mine memorizes loads of scripture, still. I found that quite challenging. So after thinking about its importance and how I still live from the verses I memorized as a kid; I decided to bring it back. I picked a passage and have been memorizing it. And can I just tell you how fun it is and addictive. How good is that, being addicted to the bible? I carry my bible around with me, to the bathroom, to the kitchen, outside on the patio, in the car. I've been reciting in my head, in the shower, whilst baking cookies, to my husband, to the Italian girl who shares our wall.

Side note: I speak way more with my hands now after living with an Italian. I find this highly entertaining.

So I put my thinking cap back on and I like what it's doing in my mind and in my heart, all the memory of it.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Flooded Heart

My good good friend Rachelle told me she started her very own blog the other day. She's going to tell her story and I thought "right on" or "good onya" as they say here Down Under.

I want to highlight it because it is sure to be really good. She's one of those people who makes everything cute and creative, bursting with adorableness, but more than that it's a beautiful story. It's her story, it's God's story through her that no one else can tell. So if you want...

http://flooded-heart.blogspot.com/

Before and After Chocolate

I've been in a bit of a slump lately. Nothing terrible has happened. Just a few family upsets, friends gone home, some physical pangs and the ever present expanse between me and those I hold dear. Like I said, nothing terrible just a few frumpy days peppered with crying. Bound to happen. If you asked me how I was, I would tell you honestly, "I'm great, never better."

I cannot believe it is August and that tomorrow is Friday already. We are now 4 months from December, from catching a plane ride home. For some here at college it means 4 months from the next step, 4 months from an answer to the question of "what now?"

A good friend dealing with that question invited me for coffee last night. She is a friend who makes me laugh and lifts my spirit. She is a joy to be with and so I said of course, I'm in. Deciding it was too late to walk and we neither wanted coffee, we settled on a chocolate shop destination. We did the chatty small talk on the way there and by the time we parked the car it was getting real and honest. She went on to unload about her fears, her wants, her sacrifices made, her questions, her hopes, her desires and no answers, worry over making the wrong decisions. All the quandary of it. The uncertainty. I listened and listened some more. Still in the car, in the thick of it. As she talked I was careful to hear everything she needed to say. I wanted her every care to be validated but I couldn't leave her there. I asked her to think on all she's learned this year and started to encourage her that there is always hope, to keep the faith and that we'll do it together, that so much can change and shift and happen in a day or a month and to trust in the God who knows her tomorrows though she cannot see them. That He sees all she has sacrificed and has not forgotten her.

At a pausing point we made our way from the car to the chocolate. Chocolate shops are big here and I am a fan. You walk into a rich creamy chocolate covered dimly lit cafe with barstools and jars of cookies, brownies, sprinkles, gumdrops and melty chocolate drizzle. Big thick bars of solid chocolate line the walls. I had my usual American Marshmallow Chocolate Cocoa and a cookie. We talked of boys and dreams and looked at pictures on her phone in chocolate heaven.

On the ride home she said "I just don't know what to do, what if I make the wrong decision?" I totally empathize with her, how many times have I said that? It just came out of me and exuberantly I said "I think you should do what you love, spend time with the people who build you up and make you strong, live life, celebrate it, enjoy it, listen to your heart, yes you can plan but the Lord leads your steps." I went on to talk about how much I've learned from two favorite authors about living a great story. That maybe God just wants to live a great story through each of us, His story. That maybe He wants us to celebrate life and enjoy the gift of knowing Him more along the way. That maybe it's not so much about right and wrong decisions as much as it's about our knowing Him and displaying who He is around us. That's His will for us after all, to know Him. As much as I was speaking to her, if not more, I was speaking to myself.

Back at the house we prayed together with a lilt in our voices, offering warm hugs and leaving with an encouraged and inspired bounce. All to my great surprise, before and after chocolate.

Now this is the real and eternal life: That they know you, The one and only true God, And Jesus Christ, whom you sent. John 17:3 msg

Lathery Bouffants, Sitting in the Sink and Baby Animals

As I was washing my hair this morning I got a little carried away with the soap. I had so much lather that my hair was staying wherever I moved it. Like when we were kids and we didn't want to rinse the soap out just yet. We needed to make shampoo mohawks and spikes and fish tails. I piled my hair on top my head in a soapy bundle and giggled remembering the days of hour long baths with tug boats, water toys and Mr. Bubble.

I started reading a book that my friend sent me yesterday and the opening line begins with her sitting in the sink, just part of her in the sink. So we are clear, the character not my friend. She goes on to talk about how inspiring it is to sit somewhere you've never sat before. I thought this was so funny because as a kid I loved to sit on the counter or in odd places or wash my feet in the sink. There was just something fun and different about it.

Brooks was home yesterday at lunch time and we were having a late brunch and watching the news. They were doing a piece on zoos around Australia, particularly the zoo in Melbourne. Right now there are several baby animals and they were showing the baby elephant, Mali, romping around clumsily playing in the dirt and rolling around in the water hole. She was just so awkwardly cute splashing in the water with her trunk, kicking her feet, running, stumbling, not caring who in the world was watching. There were baby tiger cubs wrestling and batting at each other tumbling in the grass together in a little tiger ball as their mother looked on with disinterest. And a baby giraffe. That's a big baby. They were all so cute and adorable and fun and it made me want to make a beeline for the zoo just to watch them play. I'm a sucker for baby animals. At the end of the piece that news lady said we should hurry and see them while they are still playful because "who knows how long it will last."

It struck me this morning as I was making shapes in my shampooed hair, just when do we lose that spirit of play? Maybe I'm the only one who gets lost in being an adult and being responsible. You know, paying the bills, checking off our lists, getting from here to there, planning for the future, living in the nitty gritty forgetting the kid who wants to play inside.

We are getting ready for a big conference here and last night was volunteer training. In the creative worship session the awe inspiring woman who was speaking encouraged the team not to get stressed because 'joy is our strength and nothing steals your joy like stress.' I thought she was right on the money with that statement. Nothing steals my joy like stress.

I understand we have things to tend to and we should pay our bills on time, plan and be responsible and all that, I know. But why not do it with a spirit of joy? Why not sit in a funny place to be inspired sometimes? Why not turn up the music and do a little dancing in the bathroom mirror while you fix your hair? Why not laugh at too much shampoo and make lathery bouffants? Why not I say, why not? Joy is our strength no matter what age we are.

"...for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

A Coastal Walk

If you are a designer or you use the Adobe Creative Suite in any way you'll know what I mean when I say I wish I had my eyedropper tool yesterday. Brooks and I did the coastal walk from Coogee Beach to Bondi Beach on the East coast of Sydney. It is about 7.5 miles in total. We twisted and turned, up stairs and down, cliff after cliff, bench after bench, dog after dog. Surfers braving crashing waves. Us with sea spray in our face and the wind in our sails. On a bright sunny day the water is magnificent variations and shades of iridescent and piercing blues. Color that cannot be expressed or recreated in print or mind. Pantone's got nothing on creation, though they give it their best shot. It is a powerful thing, standing atop a brutally jagged rock face watching the tide crash in, dancing its aqua dance and taking its bow with the swirl and whirl of white sea foam.

We paused for lunch at Bondi Beach before making our trek back to Coogee. Brooks had a chicken burger and I a classic burger. We sat facing the beach and the majesty of the South Pacific and before we received our food Brooks leaned in to me and asked "do you ever feel like we are just on one big vacation?" and I leaned in and said "yes, I do." And we smiled.

Sometimes the beauty of the day and all that is in it is so good and rich and I feel it so deeply. I wish I could capture it and bottle it up and stick it on a shelf in my heart, never to be forgotten.

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You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12

Praise him, you highest heavens and you waters above the skies. Let them praise the name of the LORD, for he commanded and they were created. Psalm 148: 4-5

Yellow Bird

Sweetest card from Brooks today turned my frown upside down.